Update: Nova (11/?)
Tuesday, 6 March 2007 19:58![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
curtkenobiAuthor: Curt Kenobi
Summary: Obi-Wan has secrets hidden in his past, and complications in his present. But what you hide will eventually catch you...and those around you.
Pairing: Anakin/Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan/Xanatos
Rating: M/R to be safe overall. PG for this/(light PG-13?)
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure
Warnings: um...none I can think of.
Disclaimer: Yeah, if Star Wars was mine, I could rule the world like GL. But, alas, I don't own it, so don't sue. Just call me Christian from Moulin Rouge. I'm naught but a penniless writer. Honestly.
A/N: Say hi to Johnny *points at icon*...who's the visual aid for a JQ-era character that crops up in this chapter. And there are lovely parallels to be found. (Additional A/N at the end.)
Part One: Complicated Relations
Chapter One: Up from the Shattered...
Chapter Two: Forbidden
Chapter Three: Shadows
Chapter Four: Try to Redefine What was Known
Chapter Five: See the Stars Fall
Chapter Six: Wrongs Begin to Right
Chapter Seven: A Moment Timeless Still Must End
Chapter Eight: Resolved
Chapter Nine: Beneath the Surface
Part Two: Selective Acknowledgment
Chapter Ten: "Distinguished"
Chapter Eleven: Past Within Present
Anakin was growing up too fast. But then again, he'd never exactly been a little boy. Impetuous, young, but never really a child. When Obi-Wan realised this – and it was never a constant thing; it came and went, striking every now and again, like Anakin's own temper – he felt...well, pity for the boy, who'd never gotten a chance to be a boy. Even Obi-Wan had had a childhood. Granted, it rather ended at age thirteen, but then again, that rather was the end of childhood. Anakin had been in circumstances and situations most adults in the Republic had never in their worst dreams thought of. And while outwardly, the gangly teenager – who was getting taller too fast as well; he currently was to Obi-Wan's chin, and if he kept at it, would soon be taller than his master, which had a whole range of irritants that would accompany it – looked like his agemates, his royal blue eyes told differently.
Those eyes brought trouble of their own for Obi-Wan.
Once, clear blue and shining, but ever-knowing, they had reminded Obi-Wan of his late Master. Indeed, that had helped motivate him to do his best in training the boy as much as it had wounded him within the time right after his Master's death. But now, as the boy's hair had darkened, so had those eyes it seemed. Everything about Anakin was a bit darker as he got older, Obi-Wan was forced to realise. And it wasn't just because the boy's colour preference in his uniform. No, everything about Anakin...was edgy. When he was younger, it was beneath the surface. It was what had set Obi-Wan against the child in the first place – that underlying...edginess. Now, it seemed to manifest – not so much in how Anakin himself was, at least not to Obi-Wan's knowledge – Anakin wasn't any different from how Obi-Wan expected any teenager with Anakin's responsibilities would be – but that edginess was definitely noticeable in the boy's appearance. His uniform was comprised of sand-coloured khaki, dark browns and black shaak leather. His hair had darkened from sunny blond to an ashe blond – funny since Obi-Wan's own hair had lost some of its gingery tint and become more of a wheat blond (with copper highlights, of course, he wasn't that lucky) – and his clear cerulean eyes had become more sapphire.
That in itself was startling.
The eyes were always Anakin – there was a certain gleam that made them distinctive from anyone else – but they did evoke others. Originally, they had reminded him of Qui-Gon.
Now they reminded him of Xanatos.
Xanatos. How odd that he think of him – especially given recent revelations. Such as the glaring fact of his and his Padawan's biggest adversary and current headache was undoubtably related to Xanatos deCrion. Obi-Wan had realised it the second he saw the man's true face. Not Force-sensitive like Xan, and a void and as good at changing his appearance as a natural-born Clawdite, but the moment he saw those eyes, glinting stonily like shards of polished dark blue durasteel from beneath the windblown strands of midnight black hair, he'd known. It had all clicked in that single moment they looked at each other, Obi-Wan on an overheating swoop and the man with a missle launcher aimed at him – oh, yes, those were more traits shared: that penetrating, captivating gaze and the penchant for wanting to hurt Obi-Wan. And not to forget the wealth and the mysterious past.
Granta Omega was Xanatos deCrion's son. Obi-Wan had realised it on Haariden. Had tried to deny it, but on Mawan the bastard had admitted it, point blank.
"Always have a second exit plan. My father taught me that." That...was most definitely something Xanatos had always done. Again, dredged up from his darkest dreams, the memory of Xanatos, dark and forbidden, ivory skin swathed in black, face half-obscured by a fall of long black hair, eyes burning like the hottest parts of flame. Falling backward, the black waters of the pool closing over him. That black cloak swirling back up to the surface.
And then Granta Omega showed up on the scene, after Obi-Wan had finally thought that he had moved on. Granta had all but wooed his Padawan.
Xan's son. Interfering with Anakin.
It was...Obi-Wan couldn't describe it. In a way, he felt a slight kinship with the man, though he had only been about ten when Granta was born – hadn't even known of Xanatos then. He also felt an extreme loathing, for Granta was his father's slickness multiplied – one of Xan's most fetching, but also most unnerving traits, that oily charisma – and he had it out for Obi-Wan...by going through his Padawan. Not to mention his intention of learning of the Sith and their ways.
When he and Anakin had gotten a brief moment to return to the Temple before being put on another assignment, he had dug into the bottom of the drawer of his desk. He had unearthed that scrap of his and Qui-Gon's past – so different for both of them yet so very much the same, had Xan been for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Loved by both, hurt by both; he'd hurt them both...loved them both, in his own ways. But it had been much more complicated in Obi-Wan's situation. And he had never let Qui-Gon know. Xanatos had had him pegged when he told Obi-Wan that the boy would not tell his Master for it would break the man's heart. Obi-Wan didn't want to disappoint or hurt Qui-Gon in anyway. Even after the man's death he still didn't.
He had stared at the holo of his former lover as a Padawan for a long time, disturbed by how occasionally besides Omega's visage overlapping with the image, Anakin's would as well.
Whatever that meant, it couldn't be good.
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Anakin was conflicted, to say the least.
He had gotten on with Tic Verdun. The slightly anxious but courageous scientist had ensnared him. Charming, smart. And he had engaging warm brown eyes that Anakin had found himself thinking about.
But Tic Verdun wasn't real. Just a façade, a disguise of an enemy. A ruse he had wholly fallen for.
He'd been close to a man who bode ill – Granta Omega – for so long, not even knowing it. Granta Omega, currently high-ranking on the threats to the Jedi list. A void, not Force-sensitive, but obviously very, very – unnervingly – knowledgeable on the Jedi, as well as the Sith.
A man who obviously had something against Master Obi-Wan. And who was the son of Xanatos, who Obi-Wan must have known, evidently, because Omega thought Obi-Wan had killed his father.
But Omega had been so nice! At least as Tic. And even when his true identity had been revealed...Anakin still couldn't completely not like him. He'd been so... Anakin pounded his fist against the top of his desk as he continued pacing across his room. It seemed that when they had gotten back from Mawan, both he and Master Obi-Wan had been in their own little worlds.
Part of Anakin resented that. Most of him was too depressed and conflicted to care.
On the mission to Mawan, Master Yaddle had been killed by Granta Omega, part of his strategy to impress some Sith Lord.
Master Yaddle's death had been Anakin's fault.
The details didn't matter. The intricacies did not matter. Kark the finer points. Kark all the rationalities. It came down to that simple conclusion: Anakin's fault.
And he had seen it. He'd bloody had a vision about it. And had not heeded it. Had not tried to stop it. Anakin still shook at that realisation. He saw things. That wasn't a new concept to him: he'd seen things before they happened a lot as a child – how else would he have stayed alive in podracing? But he'd always seen little things – what to dodge, when to turn, when to boost, when to slow down. Even felt it if there was a crash or explosion of another racer up ahead. That hadn't mattered to him. This, though – Master Yaddle's death – mattered. She had been a Council member. She had been one of the few that Anakin had felt accepted by – he didn't even feel that accepted and comfortable around Master Yoda (and supposedly the venerable Master was the one who gave almost everyone the benefit of the doubt. Anakin supposed, with a twist of his lips, that he was the "almost".)
He'd seen her die. He didn't want to do that, ever again. He hated it.
And Master Obi-Wan hadn't listened to him yet. He'd gone and stowed away in his room. So Anakin had done likewise. It wasn't a good thing, this time apart. Anakin supposed he should meditate. But he'd never been able to do that well. He didn't calm. He didn't centre. That didn't help Anakin. He was a person of action – he needed to do. He needed to talk, to find his way through with help, with words. He couldn't do it on his own.
He didn't trust himself to.
So Anakin avoided the memory, locking it away, and once again, Granta Omega's image intruded into his mind. Black long hair, waving in just the slightest. Big, engaging blue eyes. Everything about Omega had been engaging.
And he had understood. He had understood so well. That was what had kept Anakin from fully disliking the man. Besides his attractiveness and his charisma...aspects of his childhood almost mirrored Anakin's own. He had understood what it was like to watch his mother toil and toil, working to give him everything with in her power, while she herself was worn ragged. Understood the confusion over the Force, though he himself didn't use it. Understood the frustration Anakin felt. Understood his irritation with Obi-Wan even.
Anakin stopped his pacing. He couldn't stay cooped up. He had to get out. Tru was off on a mission, so there wouldn't be any friendly banter to distract his mind or sparring to ease his tension. He could practise. He should meditate.
Instead, as Anakin walked down the halls of the Jedi Temple, he found himself heading to a place he rarely went: the Archives.
----------------------------
He avoided Madame Nu like the plague. He didn't care for the old crone. His mom had once told him that everyone in the galaxy had an opposite. Well, Madame Nu's opposite must have been Jira, because the old lady back home on Tatooine had been benign and motherly. Madame Nu was all about her books and quite sharp.
The Archives meant studying. The Archives meant stillness. Those were two things that Anakin didn't do by choice. But the Archives also held many wonders: wealths of information. That intrigued Anakin...he just didn't like the leg work – or the mental work, as it were – required.
Anakin wanted to know about this phantom, this dead guy Xanatos from Obi-Wan's past. Obi-Wan wouldn't talk about it, Anakin was certain. He didn't even have to try. Obi-Wan didn't much talk about his past. Just said his youth was rather ill-spent, he made some impulsive choices, gotten into many rough spots, and had always managed to land in the Healers' Wing. But he would never elaborate. Once, when he was younger, Anakin would have rearranged the systems in the galaxy singlehandedly just to hear a story of Obi-Wan's youth, what it was like to be raised as a Jedi But he had finally realised that those tales were not forthcoming and had, not accepted, but settled with the situation.
Anakin typed in the name, misspelling it, but trying again with an "X" and receiving a notice of one file matching the request:
Onasi, Xanatos
Intrigued, and hoping this was who he was looking for, Anakin opened the file. His dark eyes eagerly devoured what little information there was to be had, the standard information that any Jedi – or anyone with standard information-gatherers – could receive.
Name: Xanatos Onasi
Birthplanet: Telos
Species: Human
Sex: Male
Well, at least I know I'm on the right track, Anakin sighed. The age dated the man as seven years older – just about – than Master Obi-Wan. The rest of the information matched him with Granta Omega.
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Black
Height: on record
Weight: on record
Medical Information: on record
Damn, Anakin silently cursed. He had wondered about what the man's Force-sensitivity had been like. Omega had made Xanatos sound like a grand Force-wielder. Anakin wondered if it had just been missing-hero worship. Anakin should have known that information like that was kept secure. Still, he'd hoped, just a bit. He continued:
Age of Initiation: 4
Hmm, Anakin noted. That's older than usual. Typically they don't allow anyone past age three: I heard that enough karking times after my initiation and apprenticeship to remember it.
Apprenticeship: Yes │ To: Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn
Anakin's jaw dropped. It dropped even further at the next bits of information:
Knighted: No
--------------------------------
Additional Information:
Alias(es): Xanatos deCrion -only known-
Status: Fallen. Turned to the Dark and left Order. A considerable threat; not to be underestimated, due to knowledge as well as inheritence.
-Update-: Deceased.
So the man had been a Jedi. Not just any Jedi. Master Qui-Gon's apprentice. Before Obi-Wan.
And he had turned. Anakin's eyes gazed about the bronze busts lining the shelves. The Fallen Twenty. Master Dooku, whom Anakin had been surprised to learn had been Qui-Gon's master, had recently joined those ranks. This Xanatos wouldn't be among them, though. He hadn't reached Knighthood before he had left the Order to pursue the Dark side. It made Anakin wonder. It made him wonder about a good many things. First, he wondered why Xanatos had turned. It couldn't have been because of Master Qui-Gon. Yes, Anakin had seen firsthand that the late maverick Jedi could rub people the wrong way – before they had returned to liberate Naboo, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had rather opposed each other. But that was because Obi-Wan was so damned adherent to the Code. This Xanatos must not have been. Qui-Gon should have been a fair match. What had it been, though, that had sparked the intent to turn? Second, he wanted to know why Xanatos had been accepted at age four. Third, he wanted to know what Xanatos had been like. He really did. Then, he wanted to know, straightforward, how Xanatos had died, because Granta Omega had his beliefs, and Obi-Wan's story differed. They both came to the same conclusion, the one that Anakin had before him. But he wanted details.
It also made Anakin wonder about the Jedi Order. How many apprentices turned? Did Initiates? What happened to them? Surely not everyone made apprenticeship – what about them? Tru had tried to tell him once, and Ferus had probably insulted him about it, but Anakin's disdain for most of the Council's – what he deemed – stupid rules made him tune out usually.
There was one person who could easily inform Anakin of just about all of this. Obi-Wan. Anakin sat back in his chair, the blue illuminated data becoming emblazoned in his mind. Master Obi-Wan's shields – strongest damned shields in the galaxy – were up more than usual. Anakin had the inkling that something was up. He wondered what. Part of him dared to fancy that perhaps Obi-Wan would tell him, would just come out and say it. But he knew that wasn't likely to happen, as Obi-Wan was stubborn about standing on his own. Anakin wanted to tell Obi-Wan what was on his mind. But he wouldn't either, for he was the same.
But he wished he felt he could. Part of him resented – and part of him ached because of – this space between them. He just didn't know which he felt more. And wondered if Obi-Wan ever felt the same?
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--> To Chapter Twelve: Past Within Present
A/N 2: I did tweak some of the finer details of Jedi Quest: Master of Disguise and The Shadow Trap. I also modified Granta and Xan's ages. Granta is about ten standard years younger than Obi-Wan. (Making him five years older than Anakin.) Heh, parallels.
Also: credit to Jude Watson: the description of Granta's eyes are straight from The Shadow Trap. And credit KotOR: I got the last name for Xanatos from Carth Onasi, who was from Telos and had a son training to be a Sith (and who could have lived to spawn more little badlings).
